Okay, I am finally getting around to blogging about this experience, I have been waiting on the pictures.
I spoke on my first ever panel in San Francisco at the Cybernet Expo almost two weeks ago. The topic was Opportunities for women in the adult industry. I was nervous, more nervous than If I had to get up on that stage and shoot ping pong balls out of my vagina trying to hit a bulls eye, That actually would have been easier than speaking in front of my peers and colleages. I had no idea I could work up such a sweat sitting still. ( sweat fetish bonus for me ) My heart was actually skipping beats!!! I tried to control my breathing but, somehow thinking about the next question’s answer and breathing seemed overwhelming, and impossible to do both at the same time.
So, I started offf a little shakey but, I bounced back nicely. A women named Carol Queen Ph.D ( co founder of the Center for Sex and Culture ) inspired me, One of the questions was “Have you recieved any backlash from traditional feminist?” Suddenly the sexual revolution of the 70′s was brought up, I realized how fortunate I was to be part of the sexual revolution that is going on right now. I felt a great pride and a surge of confidence when I was reminded that in a way I am a feminist. Maybe not a traditional one, but, Just by owning my sexuality and having no shame and no regrets about my choices as an adult preformer, or as a woman for that matter. The moderater Diane Duke ( Executive Director of the free speech coalition ) Also inspired me and made me blush when she complimented me.
I was also truly inspired when I found out that another woman who spoke on the panel ( Honeylynn, FUBAR ) whom I also look up to was once a preformer and ran her own solo girl website. At the end, we accepted questions from the audience and there was this one woman who must be in her 60′s her name is Lorret, she shared her own story with us about being a sex worker in San Francisco and her struggles back in the day long before unions exsited for such women! She was so very gracious in thanking everyone on the panel. She said “we’ve come a long way baby” Not to be all sappy but I felt a tear well up.
I felt truly honored to have been selected to speak on a panel. I hope it is not my last. Oh and I did put a flower in my hair while I was there. =)
Muah- Kisses! Ashley;-)