I am a shy Girl…?
Okay I have never ever been a shy girl. I have ALWAYS been a social butterfly !!!! I thrive in social settings , always have. I have never ever been shy or reserved about my body either, I have always felt comfortable in my own skin. From the time that I can remember I have never had a problem chatting up anyone. It would drive my family and friends crazy and sometimes they would even get embarassed, or mad at me.
For the first time in my life I am feeling a little less social, um a little shy? Maybe not so outgoing?? WTF?? I have absolutely no desire to interact with anyone in person, I do not want to go anywhere either! I think I will hide behind my computer for a few days In my apartment. Is it possible for a chronic extrovert to suddenly become an introvert??
I hope not, My career depends on my ability to be me. Hmmmm, they say it is “healthy” to blog but, will it make me more social?
What is social for that matter, Social networking? Really? Are you kidding me? How is an update on myspace or twitter going to make me real friends with anyone?
It won’t.
What ever happened to Phone calls? Call me old fashioned..
What if this is how agoraphopia starts? Oh no!
I could just imagine myself…
If I were an agoraphopic I would be a sex obsessed Webcam model, no an incall masseuse, or a dominatrix, maybe a psychic fortune teller. I would also have either an extremely clean or a very hoarder style home. No pets well, maybe some ferrets that could steal the wallets away from my gentlemen suitors, slaves or clients that came to visit me. I would also have to have plenty of guns and ammo in case of a zombie apocalypse. What? It could happen.
Anyways I am almost certain I would make a terrible anything else besides me so, I guess I had better get out of my apartment now. Okay here I go… well, maybe after I check my e-mails
Kisses! Ashley
Tags: Agoraphopia, Ferrets, Fotune teller, nude body, Social, social networking, Webcam, zombie apocolypse
April 28th, 2010 at 2:55 pm
LOL!!!!!!!!!!! Damn Ashley you are one funny cutie!
April 28th, 2010 at 3:56 pm
How many ferets should I bring?
April 28th, 2010 at 4:26 pm
As long as you’ve relegated yourself to the safe confines of your residence, you may consider doing the following to feel productive. Why limit yourself?
– Repeatedly clean the silverware
– Identify your most favored inanimate objects, within the home, and keep them informed of your observations and current state of mind. (Team building)
– Listen closely to the rhythmic sound of the dishwasher.
– While online, try to assemble a focus group consisting of those that actually prefer the artificial boysenberry syrup to the artificial maple syrup. (Perspective)
– Write a few haiku. Instead of emailing them to family and friends….use the postal service. (Showing them you care)
– Start following the career of a professional bowler. (Diversifying interests)
There are many more helpful suggestions, but I don’t want you to feel burdened. By employing just a few of these crucial life tools, you will certainly be more content and your contribution to society will flourish.
April 28th, 2010 at 11:41 pm
Oh Yes, Thank You. If in fact I do fall to the fate of shut in syndrome or more favorably agoraphobia
I Will be sure to refer back this practical guide you have
so kindly provided me. I really appreciate the sentiment and wisdom in your words,
so comforting to know I would still be able to contribute just as much if not more to society than
I already do now ;-)
I laughed so hard I pissed a little!!! Thank you for your comment! You’ve made my day!
April 29th, 2010 at 5:45 am
I deserve no praise for my invaluable offering of vast knowledge. Nourishing the psyche of others is a talent, and contribution to society, that is employed with little to no effort.
It doesn’t end here. You have a long journey ahead of you. Many less skilled visionaries, lacking the altruistic appeal and warmth that I exude (radiate is fine if you prefer), are content to just toss you a box of Puffs with aloe and send you on your way……alone as a pedestrian in the great crosswalk of life. As your new, self appointed spiritual life adviser, expect me to be embrace your future, both obstacles and glowing achievements, as if they were my own. Such selfless responsibility and nurturing care, similar to that of a lonely seventh grader shielding his dry insect collection from the perils of a furious down poor, is my duty. Whether it be an intricate personal issue involving family or close friends, or perhaps the need for a dazzling new recipe and presentation idea for iceberg lettuce…….the battle will be fought with me at your side.
Congratulations Ms. Fires. The clouds have parted and the sun now shimmers (radiates is fine if you prefer) upon you and those distinguished butt cheeks of yours.
It is safe for you to enter the world again.
Warmest Regards.
Mr. Generic Smith
Omniscient Humanitarian At Large